See Ya Later

Say you’re canoeing down a marshy part of the Hillsborough River. And say a mama alligator starts to bellow, because you’ve accidentally come too close to her babies. And then say that the cooler, overstuffed with salami sandwiches, slides in such a way that your boat starts to tip. You will do a word problem in your head. You will calculate how many sandwiches floating at x rate will satiate an angry, eight-foot reptile. And you will have this thought:  You will think, damn. I’m going to die, on account of a slidey, too-small-amount of salami sandwiches. And all the while, I’ll be doing math.

(Originally posted August 9, 2013)

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