JFK airport gets props for calling its departure car terminal the Kiss and Go Line. That’s good. We took a taxi to JFK, only to realize that our flight was leaving from Laguardia. That’s bad. We found a driver from the black car fleet who promised to get us to LGA before our departure. That’s good. To do so, he drove up the expressway’s shoulder, and swerved on and off the exit ramps. That’s bad. All the while, his stereo played the most soothing Buddhist meditation music. That’s good. But the music’s effect was over as soon as you looked out the window. That’s bad. We made it to LGA! That’s very good. But because I was using a temporary Iowa ID that looks like a badly-copied photo of Magda Bear Breath, the TSA people decided that a woman, who, in a better economy would be home with her grandkids, had to deftly pat me for about twenty minutes. That’s bad. The procedure moved me to the front of the line! And everyone decided that, despite my demeanor, no part of me was apt to explode. That’s good. We got home, on time, and now I can write my tale to you–which is very good indeed.
(Originally posted January 3, 2013)