Here’s one of the perks of being married: James’s alarm goes off. James gets out of bed. I awake with the searing and inexplicable need to recite the entirety of the Different Strokes theme song. But I can’t. I can’t. I can call up only the hummy end of it. “James.” He’s in the bathroom. “James, sing me the Different Strokes theme song.” He tells me he does not know the Different Strokes theme song. He says it in such a way that I gather he would never know the Different Strokes theme song.
I languish in the sheets. “You take the good,” I sing, “you take the bad.” No. “James.” The bathroom door creaks. From behind it, he holds out just his phone–and lo the Google choir sings: “Well the world don’t move, to the beat of just one drum…”
(Originally posted October 16, 2017)