You know you’re a grown-up when Saturday becomes chore day instead of play day. Don’t let it happen to you. Rise up! Sleep in! Dress down! Lie around! And light a candle for those of us who so captively accomplish.
(Originally posted September 10, 2011)
It’s a good thing that, unlike the creature that gave him his powers, Spider Man does not shoot webs from his rear.
(Originally published August 24, 2011)
In my dream, Joe DiMaggio tells an indignant Marilyn Monroe that she is a hack nuclear scientist. He bursts into song with, “You think your project’s Curie-ous, but no, you’re data’s spurious.” I can’t remember what happens next.
(Originally posted July 20, 2011)
James decided to hum the wedding march, and it came out as “O Christmas Tree.” Do I even want to know what this means?
(Originally posted June 9, 2011)