They Like to Play Willie Nelson

The DMV is refusing to let me renew my license online. Instead, I have to appear in person. I don’t know the reason, but last night I had a dream. And in my dream, the DMV summoned me so they could search my van. And in my van, they found tons of stuff I hadn’t seen before–including a piano. And they wanted me to play the LOST theme on that piano, while they searched the rest. Finally they told me they were looking for illegal musicians. “Illegal musicians?” I said. 

“Yes,” they said. “Contraband.”

(Originally posed May 20, 2014)

Bronx Bomber

In my dream, Joe DiMaggio tells an indignant Marilyn Monroe that she is a hack nuclear scientist. He bursts into song with, “You think your project’s Curie-ous, but no, you’re data’s spurious.” I can’t remember what happens next.

(Originally posted July 20, 2011)