Even Better Than the One with the Dentist

In the middle of the night, I somehow decided that I had to remember the secret identity of the Robin (as in Batman and) who came after Jason Todd. I knew he was Tim somebody. He’s actually Tim Drake. But I came up with Tim Conway–and this left me imagining the best Carol Burnett skit in the world.

(Originally posted August 16, 2015)

They Like to Play Willie Nelson

The DMV is refusing to let me renew my license online. Instead, I have to appear in person. I don’t know the reason, but last night I had a dream. And in my dream, the DMV summoned me so they could search my van. And in my van, they found tons of stuff I hadn’t seen before–including a piano. And they wanted me to play the LOST theme on that piano, while they searched the rest. Finally they told me they were looking for illegal musicians. “Illegal musicians?” I said. 

“Yes,” they said. “Contraband.”

(Originally posed May 20, 2014)

Bronx Bomber

In my dream, Joe DiMaggio tells an indignant Marilyn Monroe that she is a hack nuclear scientist. He bursts into song with, “You think your project’s Curie-ous, but no, you’re data’s spurious.” I can’t remember what happens next.

(Originally posted July 20, 2011)