Poetic License

One of the best thing about writing stories is that you can ask the most taboo questions, and nobody bats an eye. Are humans more white meat or dark meat? If you really had to, could you clean your underwear in the top rack of the dishwasher? What fruit has the crush resistance of the average human head? What’s the real difference between snot and egg white? Nobody thinks you’re strange for asking these questions. In fact, within the right circumstance, you can get an entire classroom to debate the answers.

(Originally posted February 18, 2016)

Bedside Manners

An otherwise helpful doctor was looking to schedule a followup appointment about my sprained wrist. “So,” he said, “what’s your occupation?”

I said, “I’m a novelist.”

“Oh,” he said. “So your schedule’s wide open.”

No. That’s really not what that means.

(Originally posted November 9, 2015)